Why Summer as an Adult is a Joke

There are plenty of things that people don’t tell you once you graduate college. For example:

  • You have to make doctor’s appointments for yourself now
  • You’ll spend most of your time on the phone with your mom, having her answer every question you have about life and getting stains out of things
  • You don’t have homework anymore, but you’ll be too tired from work to enjoy your evenings anyway
  • Grocery shopping and laundry are weekly occurrences (you can’t get by with just sorority t shirts and peanut butter for every meal anymore)

I don’t know if it’s some weird rite of passage that we go into the real world just as blind and naked as our first day on earth, but a sista could have really used some guidance on what to expect — especially about one of the biggest changes I’ve noticed so far.

As I’ve reflected back on my third summer post-grad, I’ve come to one conclusion: summer as an adult is a joke. Why? Here’s my thinking.

1. Because you just do the same thing you do every other month of the year, except it’s 100 degrees outside (and 60 degrees in your office).

First off, summer vacation doesn’t exist anymore. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, you get up and drag your adulting butt to work, just as you would any other time of the year. The days of summer camps, extended family vacations, and laying by the pool on a Tuesday afternoon are gone.

Also, just when you’ve bought all of these cute summer clothes and sandals, you realize that the only people who will ever see them are your co-workers. And, that’s if you ever take off the Snuggie you’ve been wearing to all your meetings because your building is the Arctic tundra. Then, when you leave the office, you can’t make it back home or to happy hour without sweating through your business casual attire.

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via BuzzFeed

2. Your summer bod is NEVER ready.

Let’s get real. You either fall off the New Year’s Resolution wagon by about March, or you totally over do it at the gym for a month and then burn yourself out so much that the thought of going to the gym makes you nauseous.

When summer finally arrives, you’ll go through this mourning period of saying goodbye to your ideal body (maybe eat an entire pint of Halo Top) and finally accept that you’ll be wearing a conservative one piece all summer. But hey, there’s always next year, right? 😉

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Rockin’ my bikini bod circa 1995

3. Your Instagram should be filled with photos from an exotic vacation, but instead your entire camera roll is full of pictures of your pets.

Picture this: you’re sitting on the couch after work one night, trying to find a picture to Instagram. Instead of scrolling through photos from a recent vacation, shame sets in as you look at an infinite scroll of photos of your cat sleeping. You then think to yourself, “I’ll just post a photo from vacation 3 years ago with the caption ‘Take me back!’ and everything will be fine.”

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4. Getting vacay envy from all your friends and wondering how they can afford to go to Bali for two weeks when you have to price match cat food.

Going off of my last point, you are vacationless. Meanwhile, your friends are jet setting around the world. While scrolling through social media, you wonder how in the world your friends can afford to spend the entire summer in a foreign country when you’re stuck here, frantically searching through your Target Cartwheel app to see if there is a coupon for deodorant. Guys, do you not have student loans? Do you have really cool bosses that let you leave for that long? A trust fund?? I need to know.

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Not Bali, but it will do. Mayan Ruins in Tulum, Mexico.

5. You end up spending your work week dreaming of summer fun on the weekend, only to waste Saturday and Sunday sleeping in far too late and scrolling through your phone.

Who’s guilty of this? I know I am sometimes. You end up going down the rabbit hole of Instagram, looking at everyone who is actually enjoying their summer and forget to enjoy your own. Maybe you’ll get dressed, meet some friends for drinks, take a cute pic (because you’re actually wearing make up), and then go right back to the couch.

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via Giphy

6. After work, all you want to do is watch Hulu and order Domino’s. Which, to you, is a year round sport.

You could spend your time after work outside, enjoying the extra hours of daylight we have until we’re plunged into total darkness in the fall and winter, but why not re-watch your favorite episodes of GOT instead? Plus, you have your Domino’s order saved for speedy delivery.

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via Tumblr

7. You spend most of your time reminiscing on summer vacations from your childhood.

There’s that good ol’ millennial nostalgia kicking in. It’s okay to admit it! I have such fond memories of my summers as a kid. Our days were filled with running through the sprinklers, park visits, road trips in the mini van, library books, popsicles, pillow forts and so much more. We packed a lot of good times into 3 months. And, just like Bryan Adams said, those summers seemed to last forever.

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RIP to Dinosaur World in Eureka Springs, AR

8. Summer goes by WAY too fast

We spend so much of spring in anticipation of summer and all the fun we’ll have, and then, in the blink of an eye, we’re packing our shorts and sandals away and ordering pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks again.

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That face when you realize summer is almost over

How I’ve Combatted Non-Existent Summer Vacations

Adult summers may not be as fun as they were when you were a tyke, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work with what you’ve got. My husband and I both work 40 to 50 hour weeks and still make time to experience a little bit of summer. Check out my blog on how to enjoy your adult summer.

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