Our First Year of Marriage: Q&A With Andrew & Abbey

It’s hard to believe that this time last year we were newlyweds. When they say your first year goes by fast, I didn’t fully grasp the speed until today. Instead of talking about what we’ve learned or giving our take on marriage, Andrew and I both agreed that we are HIGHLY UNQUALIFIED to give any advice (shocker). So, instead, we decided to do a Q&A with each other (while we were at a winery, because that’s how we roll). Here’s a sneak peek into what married life looks like for us, and a look into our hopes and dreams for the future.

 

What’s the best part about being married?

ANDREW: I really like being a unit or a team. There is something comforting about being able to be on the same track in life and plan for the future together. Being able to think 5, 10, 15 years down the road and plan our lives out is so fun. Like our next vacation, buying a house… that kind of stuff.

ABBEY: Yeah, mine is very similar. I think before, when we were dating, it was hard to plan our lives because we didn’t know where we would end up. Now, we can plan things out because no matter what happens to those plans, we know we’re going to be together.

What is your favorite memory from your first year of marriage?

ANDREW: Going to Louisville. We got to do something that we both enjoyed individually (drinking bourbon), and I think we were both surprised about how much we would enjoying doing that together. Plus, we love exploring new cities and places, so getting to experience the bourbon scene, and getting to explore Louisville was fun for the both of us.

ABBEY: I liked Louisville a lot. I also really like every Saturday and Sunday because you get up and make me breakfast. That really means a lot to me. It just starts my day off the right way! I also really liked going to Rocheport. That was an impromptu trip (as are many of the things I drag you to), but I’m glad that you’re a good sport no matter where we go.

Would you have done anything different on your wedding day?

ANDREW: I wouldn’t have chugged a Smirnoff Ice the night before.

ABBEY: Is that what you really want me to write down?

ANDREW: *laughs*  In all actuality, I wish we would have had a better plan to talk to everyone because there were so many people and we didn’t get a chance to see all of them and thank them for coming.

ABBEY: Yeah, that’s true. I also wish we would have done a private first look. There were so many people there – three photographers, a videographer, and two wedding coordinators – that it didn’t feel as intimate as it could have been. Also, I’m pissed we didn’t get to do the photo booth!!! And, I still secretly wish we would have gone to the after party because I had serious FOMO after hearing all the crazy stories from that night.

Do you feel any different since you’ve been married?

ANDREW: I think at first I did and I didn’t think I would. It just felt official, ya know? I think now I feel the same though.

Insightful. 

ABBEY: Yeah. I feel so much more calm. I also feel more comfortable, and I feel like I can be less guarded with my emotions around you. I know that sounds silly because we’ve been together so long, but I just trust you even more. And honestly, it just feels right – like we were supposed to be here all along.

What’s something your spouse does that annoys you?

ANDREW: I plead the 5th!

ABBEY: No you have to answer!!!!

ANDREW: Fine! You just don’t like to relax. Sometimes I like to sit there and do nothing and you don’t know how to do that very well. But you already know that!

ABBEY: Every time you talk about fantasy sports – especially baseball and football because they’re on all the time. Though I feel like I know all the players’ names now because you constantly talk about them…

What doesn’t annoy you as much as you thought it would?

ANDREW: All the cleaning! I thought that would really bother me, but I like having everything clean when I come home.

ABBEY: I thought that your over-rational thinking would be annoying, but it balances me out very well and helps me make more level-headed decisions instead of reacting in the moment, which is what I would do before.

What is your favorite part about your spouse?

ANDREW: I like your adventurous spirit. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t do much of anything and I would be pretty boring. I would have seen every show on Netflix. We also share the same values, which is important. You’re also funny and we never run out of things to talk about.

ABBEY: I like your sense of humor. You’re so goofy and not a lot of people get to see that because of your job. At the same time, we are able to have some pretty deep conversations about work and life. And I like how well you can pop my back when it gets stiff. (Sorry chiropractor!!!)

What’s a phrase your spouse says all the time?

ANDREW: “Are you done now??” Usually happens when I take a joke too far.

ABBEY: “You know what really grinds my gears?”

What are you most looking forward to as a married couple?

ANDREW: Buying a house! We are going to do so many cool and fun things to it and make it the way we want it. And, we’ll stop moving so much.

ABBEY: Buying a house also! Also being able to travel and focus on our relationship before having kids. I’m also really excited to eventually get a puppy and (Andrew added this part when he typed this up)… probably 40 more cats. I am actually really excited to see you as a dad as well. I think you’re going to make such a good dad in 50 years when we decide to have kiddos. 😉

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned over the past year?

ANDREW: I already knew everything.

ABBEY: Is that what you want me to put down?

ANDREW: No. I feel like I’m overthinking this one! I think taking turns around the house, like cooking and cleaning is really important to you. So I try to do that even though it doesn’t really matter to me because it makes you happy.

ABBEY: Balance in a relationship. You have to balance relaxing and accomplishing/doing things. A big one for me has been that you don’t just stop learning and growing after you’re married. It’s important to keep dating and being “boyfriend and girlfriend” and “husband and wife” at the same time.

What’s the one thing you never want your spouse to forget?

ANDREW: That I love her. Don’t you forget it!!!!

ABBEY: How much I love him. And how cute his butt is…

 

God, aren’t we just disgustingly sappy? 🙂 Truth is, I don’t think anyone really has marriage figured out, but part of the fun is learning and growing with your partner through the years. While Andrew and I have been dating for over six years and married for one, we still have a lot to learn from each other and about each other. I’m SO excited for what the future holds. And something tells me it’ll be filled with lots of happiness, adventures, puppies and little Donahue kiddos. Thanks for doing life with us, y’all!

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